Yesterday was “Lill-Lördag”. Translated in English: “Lil’-Saturday”.
Me and a few friends went to a club for some dancing. It was pretty fun, even though I don’t like that club much. It’s a club that plays House music. Hm, not really my taste!
It’s not like us under 20 years old have other places to go dancing…
Not that I know of anyway since I tend not to go out clubbing much. Dinner with friends is more my cup of tea.

You know I have time-issues, right? People with ADD tend to have that.
I did not notice on the bus schedule that the bus that we were going to take only goes on weekends.
So there we where, Snape and I, 02:30 am walking to Kristina’s apartment to wait for the next bus that would come 04:47 am. We had no other choice than to wait for that bus since we had no other way to get home. Taxi was a big no no for Snape. We couldn’t afford it anyway.

Oh, did I mention we had to go to school that day?

Lol, it was a funny moment though. Call me crazy but I love these kinds of adventures.

There is one particular thing that is very annoying, and that is when some of you ask me why I haven’t shown up for school.

Sure, I appreciate that you care for me but when you talk with a patronizing voice you really get on my bloody nerves! !
Don’t talk to me like I am a kid who has done something wrong! And don’t you dare give me that judging look on your face! I am not your fucking child and you are not my fucking parent!

I’ll tell you this. The answer you will get from me is “because”, with a very annoyed voice. Don’t expect me to sit their in the presence of other people’s ears and open my heart to you if you treat me like that!
I get this enough from my parents. I don’t need this from friends. You all know what I have been struggling with for a long time now. But if you can’t seem to get that then you are simply not my friend. It only tells me that you have not listened.

Went out dancing with some friends last night. Ended up going home early.
I felt like crap, physically and emotionally.
And they played his favorite song. I thought I was going to cry…

When I got home I changed into more comfortable clothes and jumped into bed with my kittens.
Feeling the same safe feeling I feel when I lie in my bed.

This morning I woke up with my make-up still on my face, and late for school.
Although I have arrived to school early three days in a row and being a good student, I felt no strength what so ever to get up from bed. So I called in sick, and went back to sleep.

Still tired. Will go to bed soon…

(By the way, I am pleased to say that I have some snapshots for my project!! ALALALA..Ouffff…this project is going to be the death of me, lol.)

I won’t be going home today though. I am sleeping over at another friends house, which I am really looking forward to! We have been friends for a long time but haven’t met as much as we wanted to… She works and I go to school, so it’s difficult to find time.

Ahahahaaaaaaa…I feel the energy build inside me! I have been sleeping the whole day! Poor, Z! Gomen, ne!

Speaking of Z, I’m going to take snapshots of her taking a shower/having a bath and playing on her new drums. All for the school project people!

TAKE CARE!

BUNRAKUUUUUUUUU

Don’t worry, I haven’t had a breakdown and escaped here, hehe… No, I’m more here on matter of business.

I am fixing photos for my school project. I’m pretty sure I haven’t told you about it, and I won’t right now. But if you can read Swedish feel free to read my project blog: www.topalian.blogg.se

Zände and I went to Old Town a few hours ago and took some pictures. I felt I didn’t get so much work done… I feel a little uninspired and unmotivated. I don’t know. I hope it will change tomorrow because Malin, Zände and I are going out and about in Stockholm with our cameras!! LET’S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS!!!

N’awww, Z is sleeping like a baby. Meanwhile, M and I are sitting next to eachother with a laptop on our own and listening to our own different music. Lol. It’s late, but I don’t think we will go to bed until later. Don’t mind it. I feel good right now.
Drinking mint tea and simply enjoying life right now. Living in the present.

A few days ago I finally deleted him from Skype. I have to admit that I got a little teary-eyed. It was a big step. Bittersweet. Deleting him from my life completely but at the same time deleting everything we used to wrote to eachother. Every deep conversation and funny moments.

I will miss those moments so much. And I will miss him. I won’t be able to forget him… ever.
I’m not saying I will forever be thinking of him. But he will be a memory that will never fade. Still buried deep in my head.

I keep imagining meeting him in the future. What kind of feelings would I feel then? What would he feel?
Would we recognize each other?  Who knows. Nothing I will continue to think about anymore.

moi

My tears finally broke through my never ending strong walls.
They were set free.
Renewing  the old traces of tears.

Torture.

All I could do was to be quiet and try to swallow my sorrow…

Like always.

I have re-written my notes from Japanese class.
I am a perfectionist when it comes to notes I make during class. I have to use the rubber a lot. It’s obsessing, lol.
(On my last school, everyone got diplomas and on mine it said “The School’s Accurate”, HAHA!)

If you see any mistake, please tell me.
But you must know that I am am rookie in Japanese.
I know a few words and sentences but I have never learn hiragana, katakana etc. until now.
What the teacher writes on the board, I write on my note.

Meanwhile, I missed my class today.
FUCK!